I been struggling lately to accept the fact that I'm hairless. I've been getting strange looks, and inquiries about my '
Photos:Kwesi Abbensetts
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Inspiration
I been struggling lately to accept the fact that I'm hairless. I've been getting strange looks, and inquiries about my '
Photos:Kwesi Abbensetts
Ambition
I've neglected my blog, but for good reasons. I had school work, mid-terms and lots of thinking to do.
I missed blogging though. If I was blogging regularly I would have blogged about Nigeria's 50th independence and how I celebrated ( my Oct.1st was completely horrible btw) but I was in ny for the parade but I didn't go clubbing ( so much eye candy* wink*) but my new thing is " leave every cute man alone where you found him until he approaches you and when he does check his references with the holy spirit". Its been working so far, but then again the way I carry myself these days won't attract such a man lol. I'm pretty casual about what I wear these days and how I wear myhair, errr wig. Dc has been great, it definitely has problems with poverty and rats, which every city in America is struggling with I guess. I've joined clubs,made a few more friends,ignored a few,dropped some, yea you know the whole spiel. Since I've been in dc I've really been struggling with something I never thought I would struggle with: my identity. For those of you who don't know, I'm an American born Nigerian. For some reason I'm feeling like the other Nigerian students (some are exchange/international students) treat me very different as if I'm not even one of them. For weeks, I was finding it hard to comprehend, but now I've come to the a conclusion that I've been denying for quite some time. We are inexplicably different. I mean the Nigerians born and raised in the US and the ones raised in Nigeria. We act differently, we speak differently(obviously) our mannerisms are different. We are just different. I'm ok with that and I fully understand how/why we are so different. I don't have to become best 'buddies' with someone for the simple fact that they are Nigerian, and a Nigerian guy who I met in the library made me fully aware of this when he started off our 'convo' like this: him: are you african? me:yes him: Nigerian? me: yes--him: have u been making an effort to meet other Nigerians on campus? me: no, its not really my priority right now--him: wow, I've never met a Nigeria that would say that me: *silent* him: so do you hang out with the 'whites'? --me: umm no---him: ok, well when you see me around campus say hi, because I always see you and you just walk by me, I knew you must be a nigerian, cuz thats nija babe behavior'. Wow, I never knew I had 'Naija babe' behavior. But anyway point is, I'm friendly to those who are friendly to me. If your not friendly, I usually just ignore you. Its a terrible way to go about things, I know! I'm trying to change really I am!
I'm kind of feeling like a 29 year old thats turning 30, like I'm running out of time to do my last minute-life changing thing.Almost like I'm rushing to the alter *laughs* Like I'm feeling wayyyy out of my element. I feel like ok here I am, a 20 year old college student, with the world as my oyster, yet I feel like something is missing, like I haven't really accomplished much in my 20 years on earth. When you go to a university where juniors are working full time on capitol hill or at the White House as Obama's activity coordinator, then you might have an inkling about how I feel. I'm trying to really take advantage of the opportunities that my school has to offer. I mean my school is KNOWN for the crazy/incredible internships/jobs that students land ( some students get internships in their freshman year) and also the study abroad programs. I'm trying to do so many things at once, my mind is always thinking of a new idea, I'm constantly writing mental notes in my head about something, and I KNOW that using a job at the white house as my measuring stick is just ridiculous, but forgive me, I can't help it. I know I'm ambitious, I just don't know how to make my ambitions reality. I talk more than I do, I write more about what I want to do more than I act on it.
I gotta admit, thinking/writing about my goals,hopes and dreams is just not cutting the cake anymore. I need to make moves! I need to get more ambitious and get to work.
Have a wonderful week ahead!
RIP to The Cunning Linguist. The talented ones always leave us so soon.
shouts out 2 kilishi.e-hugs*. You'll be ok!
I missed blogging though. If I was blogging regularly I would have blogged about Nigeria's 50th independence and how I celebrated ( my Oct.1st was completely horrible btw) but I was in ny for the parade but I didn't go clubbing ( so much eye candy* wink*) but my new thing is " leave every cute man alone where you found him until he approaches you and when he does check his references with the holy spirit". Its been working so far, but then again the way I carry myself these days won't attract such a man lol. I'm pretty casual about what I wear these days and how I wear my
I'm kind of feeling like a 29 year old thats turning 30, like I'm running out of time to do my last minute-life changing thing.Almost like I'm rushing to the alter *laughs* Like I'm feeling wayyyy out of my element. I feel like ok here I am, a 20 year old college student, with the world as my oyster, yet I feel like something is missing, like I haven't really accomplished much in my 20 years on earth. When you go to a university where juniors are working full time on capitol hill or at the White House as Obama's activity coordinator, then you might have an inkling about how I feel. I'm trying to really take advantage of the opportunities that my school has to offer. I mean my school is KNOWN for the crazy/incredible internships/jobs that students land ( some students get internships in their freshman year) and also the study abroad programs. I'm trying to do so many things at once, my mind is always thinking of a new idea, I'm constantly writing mental notes in my head about something, and I KNOW that using a job at the white house as my measuring stick is just ridiculous, but forgive me, I can't help it. I know I'm ambitious, I just don't know how to make my ambitions reality. I talk more than I do, I write more about what I want to do more than I act on it.
I gotta admit, thinking/writing about my goals,hopes and dreams is just not cutting the cake anymore. I need to make moves! I need to get more ambitious and get to work.
Have a wonderful week ahead!
RIP to The Cunning Linguist. The talented ones always leave us so soon.
shouts out 2 kilishi.e-hugs*. You'll be ok!
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