Just when I was feeling sorry for myself, I realized that life really is too short to be feeling sorry about anything. Brain aneurysms are scary. Two of my family friends have survived them, and only just slightly. It was yesterday that I realized that waking up in the morning is never guaranteed. One of my family friend's would not have  survived had she not been out that night, the doctor said she would  have been dead had she went back to her house and went to sleep. That's how sneaky death is and you know,God has really been good to us even in the moments where we don't even deserve it. I was online yesterday, on alopecia world, and there was a story about a  little 10 year old girl who regrew all her hair using Chinese medicine. I was excited, because maybe this was an answer to my prayer, but then it hit me : I should pray for acceptance and inner peace with myself, not for hair.


TD.

Brain drain

 The brain drain ( particularly in Africa) is a BIG  problem. I remember reading somewhere that in 1995, there were more Nigerian doctors and nurses in the US then the WHOLE Nigeria! That is seriously some crazy stuff right there. Nigeria,Ethipia,South Africa, and Ghana are Africa's biggest exports to countries like the United States, West Germany, UK, and Australia. There are about 20 million Nigerians outside of Nigeria and about 1 million Nigerians in the US. 64% of foreign born Nigerians ages 25+ hold a bachelors degree. Many never return to their home country. I can't say that I blame them though, (despite the fact that I'm not familiar with the conditions in which Nigeria/Africa is under, I haven't been there to experience it). For the bloggers who are currently in college maybe in Canada, UK or the US: do you plan on staying there and getting a job? or are you relocating to Nigeria? For the bloggers who have gotten their education in the US/UK/Canada and have remained in your respective 'adoptive' countries: what made you stay? and do you have plans on returning home?




Heres an excerpt from an interview with Emeagwali:


What are the social impact of brain drain?


EMEAGWALI:

Brain drain makes it difficult to create a middle class consisting of doctors, engineers and other professionals. We have a two class African society: a massive underclass that is largely unemployed and very poor people and a few very rich people that are mostly corrupt military and government officials.

Brain drain gives rise to poor leadership and corruption. A large educated middle class will ensure that political power is transferred by ballots instead of by bullets.

When the medical doctors emigrate to the United States, the poor are forced to seek medical treatment from traditional healers while the elite fly to London for their routine medical checkups.

Nigerian government officials are using tax payer's money to travel abroad for routine medical check-ups and malarial treatment. Overseas medical check-ups is a national disgrace and banning it would force Nigeria to re-hire those medical doctors that emigrated to Europe.

 Do Africans who leave their home countries to study and work have an obligation to return and share the benefits of their education?


EMEAGWALI: 

In theory, we are morally obliged to return to Africa. In reality, an African professional will not resign from his $50,000 a year job to accept a $500 a year job in Africa. A more meaningful question will be to ask: What measures can be taken to entice Africans leaving abroad to return home and what can be done to discourage those professionals in Africa to remain in Africa.

          Five Possible Solutions to curve the brain drain:

             1.Good governance at the national and international level, especially maintenance of reasonable

               security for peoples' lives and property is essential for economic progress, Thus withholding

               political and economical emigrants, who blame their governement's failure for political unrest

               and stagnant economic growth is possible. Transparency in leadership is essential and should

               be maintained.

             2.Offering higher wages for `insiders` according to their qualifications is essential, instead of over

               estimating and hiring expatrates, which are more costly.

             3.Education plays a powerful role especially in the growing problems of international migration.

               Therefore, offering these individuals the necessariy education qualifications in their home

               countries, and expanding a better educational infrasturcture may definitely prevent emigrants

               who are seeking a higher education abroad.

             4.Seeking alternative measures for return of warranty from the beneficiaries, such as the

               withholding of academic degrees until the graduates return and are willing to serve the people,

               may be another considerable alternative.

             5.The last alternative measure could be, taxing emigrants who are indigenously trained in home

               countries. This is indeed a sensitive issue and may sound absurd, and may potentially infringe

               on the basic human right and freedom to chose the nature and location of individuals where to

               live and where to work. Thus, it must be agreed upon the international community and

               international laws.

             6.Since richer African States are also the stakeholders of this so called brain drain, a deal must

               be made between rich and poor states of the continent that prohibits the later from taking

               intellectuals of the poorer states.

               http://chora.virtualave.net/brain-drain7.htm

Inspiration

I been struggling lately to accept the fact that I'm hairless. I've been getting strange looks, and inquiries about my 'hair wig. I feel like I need to break free and just be me, so sometimes I wear scarves, the ladies above are beautiful even with short cropped hair.

Photos:Kwesi Abbensetts

Ambition

I've neglected my blog, but for good reasons. I had school work, mid-terms and lots of thinking to do.
I missed blogging though. If I was blogging regularly I would have blogged about Nigeria's 50th independence and how I celebrated ( my Oct.1st was completely horrible btw) but I was in ny for the parade but I didn't go clubbing ( so much eye candy* wink*) but my new thing is " leave every cute man alone where you found him until he approaches you and when he does check his references with the holy spirit". Its been working so far, but then again the way I carry myself these days won't attract such a man lol. I'm pretty casual about what I wear these days and how I wear my hair, errr wig. Dc has been great, it definitely has problems with poverty and rats, which every city in America is struggling with I guess.  I've joined clubs,made a few more friends,ignored a few,dropped some, yea you know the whole spiel. Since I've been in dc I've really been struggling with something I never thought I would struggle with: my identity. For those of you who don't know, I'm an American born Nigerian. For some reason I'm feeling like the other Nigerian students (some are exchange/international students) treat me very different as if I'm not even one of them. For weeks, I was finding it hard to comprehend, but now I've come to the a conclusion that I've been denying for quite some time. We are inexplicably different. I mean the Nigerians born and raised in the US and the ones raised in Nigeria. We act differently, we speak differently(obviously) our mannerisms are different. We are just different. I'm ok with that and I fully understand how/why we are so different. I don't have to become best 'buddies' with someone for the simple fact that they are Nigerian, and a Nigerian guy who I met in the library made me fully aware of this when he started off our 'convo' like this: him: are you african? me:yes him: Nigerian? me: yes--him: have u been making an effort to meet other Nigerians on campus? me: no, its not really my priority right now--him: wow, I've never met a Nigeria that would say that me: *silent* him: so do you hang out with the 'whites'? --me: umm no---him: ok, well when you see me around campus say hi, because I always see you and you just walk by me, I knew you  must be a nigerian, cuz thats nija babe behavior'. Wow, I never knew I had 'Naija babe' behavior. But anyway point is, I'm friendly to those who are friendly to me. If your not friendly, I usually just ignore you. Its a terrible way to go about things, I know! I'm trying to change really I am!


I'm kind of feeling like a 29 year old thats turning 30, like I'm running out of time to do my last minute-life changing thing.Almost like I'm rushing to the alter *laughs* Like I'm feeling wayyyy out of my element. I feel like ok here I am, a 20 year old college student, with the world as my oyster, yet I feel like something is missing, like I haven't really accomplished much in my 20 years on earth. When you go to a university where juniors are working full time on capitol hill or at the White House as Obama's activity coordinator, then you might have an inkling about how I feel. I'm trying to really take advantage of the opportunities that my school has to offer. I mean my school is KNOWN for the crazy/incredible internships/jobs that students land ( some students get internships in their freshman year) and also the study abroad programs. I'm trying to do so many things at once, my mind is always thinking of a new idea, I'm constantly writing mental notes in my head about something, and I KNOW that using a job at the white house as my measuring stick is just ridiculous, but forgive me, I can't help it. I know I'm ambitious, I just don't know how to make my ambitions reality. I talk more than I do, I write more about what I want to do more than I act on it.

I gotta admit, thinking/writing about my goals,hopes and dreams is just not cutting the cake anymore. I need to make moves! I need to get more ambitious and get to work.

Have a wonderful week ahead!


RIP to The Cunning Linguist. The talented ones always leave us so soon.
shouts out 2 kilishi.e-hugs*. You'll be ok!

random

- My roommate is annoying.
Shes annoying in more ways than one but the number one reason why is she keeps the tv remote on her bed or desk., yet she says I can watch it and change the channels or whatever...I should have just kept my television and connect it somewhere else somehow...oyinbo ppl are something else.


-Cute guys are everywhere on my campus. From asian to lebanese to Nigerian...'i never see this kain thing be for' ( jaywon voice lol) i met a Nigerian boy last night...he was tooooo cute, we were both smilin hard like fools lol


-I start bikram yoga this week. Its in a heated room for around 90minutes. DC is surprisingly a very health conscious city...people are always jogging or walking or doing some sort of  physical activity


-Something i observed since i got here is Nigerian girls who come straight from Nigeria seem to have attitude problems..like a real serious one. They start to act stuck up for no reason and sort of act standoffish...like the two nigerian girls in my bio class..the first one is cool but shes boring as anything...as in im trying hard to hold a convo and shes in another planet ( she wasnt the issue, her friend was) i came up to her friendn started talking and she was acting aloof n what not, almost like she was trying to make me look stupid, i just walked off and left the two of them standing there...since then i ignore both of them...made me realize that i dont have to make friends with every nigerian i see smh!!

-

Ive arrived

Shoutsout to everyone who commented on my last post, I'm about to post my replies.
On another note, I've arrived in DC( this post was meant for 8/24!)...well I've been here since what friday I think. I love dc already, last time I was here was back in '06. Only thing I don't like about DC is the cost of living here, na wa o, my pockets are howling. I went to the grocery store today, and they charge 5 cents for an extra bag....lmyo its not that serious its just a plastic bag. But on the flip side, dreads are big out here, and I love dudes with dreads...short, tall,light or dark as long as he has dreads then he has my attention...then i focus my attention elsewhere lol. My school is absolutely beautiful and  its kept pretty clean. Most of the students here are pretty wealthy ( their parents that is )which means on any given day its not out the ordinary to see a BM or a lezzus cruising down the streets of the campus & most kids are foreign and have diplomat/ambassador parents which explains it all. I'm slowly trying to make friends, because chillin in the dorm is no fun,but this time around Ive been lazy about it...I had the opportunity yesterday and I blew it. I went into the bookstore, and I saw this tall,black dude, I dont know if he was cute because I didn't look at his face...so this dude says hi, how are you? I said hi and kept moving....15mins later hes coming towards me...and I'm thinking...what in the world does this guy want?...so he asks me if I needed help with anything and I said NO!! i said no!!! now that I think about it, it would have been a perfect opportunity to make a new 'friend'...lol or a new driver lmao... if there are any bloggers in the DMV area, email me oo (damsel44@yahoo.com) i wouldnt mind meeting up...

Since I turned 20 I've:
1. joined twitter
2.went vintage shopping for the first time
3.got my nose pierced
4.moved to dc
5.been to more weddings in a month than I ever have in my whole life
6.eaten gelato for the first time

Igbankwu & what I learned

According the 'programme' on the tables at the wedding, an Igbankwu is a Nigerian wedding consisting of

-the bride looking for her bubby

-the grooms family greeting the brides family

-prayers etc...

-masquerades

I cant really remember what the rest of it consists of but it was actually quite exciting because I've never been to a Nigerian Traditional wedding (but i went to 4 white weddings this month alone),but  the most exciting part was when she took the palm wine and was looking for her hubby...how cute!

I really learned sooo much about how we do our traditional weddings, I learned that each tribe does their own thing. Igbo people do theirs very traditional as in they really go by the 'books', plus they do the whole 'look for 'ya' husband ' thing with the palm wine.I also noticed ( at the igbo wedding n the yoruba one i went to) that igbos don't do the whole lace/gele thing its more of a yoruba thing, because the geles look on point and the aso ebi is crazzzyyy as in, i cant even describe it...no offense to igbos,biko its nothing personal ;-) Yorubas do the whole postrate thing...and I heard akwa iboms do this thing where the bride has to cook a couple different dishes of soup to see if she can cook...when I heard this, I was sitting there like what the...? they really cant be serious

((*crosses akwa ibom men off the list for potential hubbies))

igbo

yoruba

edo

hausa

akwa ibom

As for the groom and the bride, hmm lets just say the guy looked miserable ( like he was going to the electric chair) and the bride was waving like miss America....the place was packed with people obviously just trying to be nosy and see whats going on. I found it so strange that the parents of the groom were going along with everything like everything was peachy keen, when they really had a hidden agenda....but hey who knows, the rumors could be false, maybe they are getting married on their own terms not their parents, i really don't know or care because the only thing i wanted to do at that wedding was eat!. I saw a couple getting married ( next yr) I bet you they were thinking : 'our wedding will be better than theirs' lmyo ( laugh my yansh off) I'm sure all couples do that, but the way the bride to be's mom is going on and on about her daughters wedding hopefully it is! in short the guests berra be eating from golden spoons and dipping strawberries in a chocolate fountain...lmyo

All this wedding talk is making me want to get married myself! cant wait for that day!!

until next time.

td.

arranged marriage in 2010?

I'm going to an arranged marriage ceremony today, well the traditional marriage for an igbo couple.
Its arranged in an extremely weird way. The grooms mother wants her son to marry this girl so she can put him through law school (shes a nurse prac.) and then she said ' they will find him his real wife after she pays his law school off.'she was telling someone that 'she has to do what she has to do' (wow) I also heard stories about the grooms mother saying the girl was lazy because she can't cook ( and I don't think being born n raised in America is an excuse) and that she was questioning her future-in laws about the upbringing of their daughter...its like one big fiasco and the whole  state is going to be there just to be nosy, you guys know how Nigerians are...and for some reason, I'm feeling sorry for the bride, its almost as everyone is going just to get a good laugh in....

*will definitely update on what happens @ the wedding.

td.

Moral decay

Maybe it took me losing all my hair, and looking like a gorri mappa shine shine to notice how much the moral decay in our culture encourages people to put so much emphasis  on physical appearance,attributes, and sexual attraction . The pressure is especially mounting for women because to be an 'ugly' female (with a flat butt) in this society, its like your doomed.However if a female is not pretty and she has an overload behind her, she is bound to turn heads and collect numbers. If shes just 'ugly then you hear people saying ' awww, I feel bad for her, wonder if she'll ever get a husband?'  An ugly man can always get a beautiful woman on his arm no matter what. Why? Don't ask me, because I still don't understand that either. Being an ugly man is much better than being an ugly female apparently. Ever seen a female try to captivate a man with her personality? Nope. Instead she prances around in a tight jumpsuit showing off her assets. I just laugh at females like this because it is very sad. Its sad to know that the only thing she feels shes capable of using is her backside to attract men.She can't even  have an intelligent conversation, because the words in her vocabulary don't expand too far.  How you get a man is how you have to work to keep him. So if your using sex,money or your body then you must keep using  those things in order to keep your man. Another woman with more money,better sex and a better body will come along and there goes your man!! I know the pressure to look good  is much, I'm feeling it too, but I can't live in the gym to get a bigger butt, I can't give  sex or money all in the name of a man. Eventually my body will fall apart, and I won't even be able to have sex, or even work for the money, not even beauty can hold a relationship together because that will fade...so whats the point why use those things as a basis for a relationship?  It  seems like every girl wants a big butt yea its the new trend for summer &fall , but for what? to attract a man. But all he really wants to do is have sex and move on to another girl with an even bigger butt. Everyone just wants to be sexually attractive to the opposite sex, find a room ( or car) and get it on and move on.Makes us girls who are waiting on our prince's in shining armor to question the moral values of  most of these guys. I feel bad for guys more, especially with the way some girls dress. If I was a guy, I wouldn't want to get to know a female if I saw her breasts and butt displayed like a buffet. If shes showing off what she has, then she must want someone to touch it, no? But the funny thing with females is, they love to dress in a provocative way to turn heads (thats the whole point) and to them it doesnt matter if the head they are turning is of that of a married man or a man in a relationship.BUT when they are with their husbands or boyfriends and a girl is dressed provocatively they automatically HATE the girl and don't want their man to so much as look in her direction. O.k. if you don't want your man lusting after another girl, dress your body in a way that you are making anyone elses man lust after you either. I scratch your back, you scratch mine! So with that done and said

I pray that:

- I can look for clothes that flatter my shape, but don't make men lust
-my future hubby will be satisfied  with my love
-that he will reject and be disgusted by all the seductresses on the prowl.
-that young woman today realize that their personalities have the ability to attract a  worthy man of integrity
-that young men realize that a woman shouldn't be measured by her physical attributes



...ok #rantover

thank you to those who commented on my last,post I really appreciate it! ♥

I miss my hair. I miss my eyebrows and eyelashes. The heat is so irritating, it almost makes me hate summer and all that comes with it. I want to be totally happy again, but hair doesn't equal happiness or does it? When you go without something for so long, you realize how much you actually need it and want it badly. I saw my first grade teacher and she asked me if I was going for treatment. I don't have cancer.

I'm happy to say I will no longer be blogging about olu (lekan) hes a closed chapter in my life. On to better things, so no I won't settle.


I want to look normal for once, atleast if I do, its one less thing to worry about apart from classes,homework n projects. I have to slap a stupid itchy wig on, paint on eyebrows n put in eyelashes, like a drag queen.
So now I'm a depressed drag queen....

'Happier posts are sure to follow....but who really reads them anyway.

follow me

Follow me on TWITTER :@NONlexiCAL

A 'confammed 'babe

A confammmed babe:

1.is always confident in everything she does

2. is effortlessly chic

3. knows she deserves a good man, and doesn't settle for less.

4. embodies the term 'classy', not the counterfeit version.

5. Uses more than her body/face to command attention.

6. Knows her worth.

7. Grows spiritually every day

8.is  a vision of loveliness

Hello DC

I've decided on DC, really wish I  could have gone back to Miami.
Ill see how it goes and see if I like it. If I do, I'll stay, if not Miami it is.

Hopefully I can meet with bloggers in the DMV area, any blogger who lives out there could you please recommend:

a church
african market/store
best places to shop
a good hospital


I still haven't gotten a job, I only have a month left because classes start next month. I'll be shopping like crazy over the next few weeks though despite my financial drought. Ive already gotten my suitcase packed with a few things. I want to drive down there ( If I get a car) but thinking about the drive just makes me want to take the train.

thanks in advance.

btw, I need a way to let lekan know that it won't work out between us...any suggestions? I mean  hes already calling my mom his mother in-law...I'm not ready for that!

Weekend of ' I love you' and cheeseburgers

Olu ( better known as Lekan,read about him here, ) is back in the picture.Not necessarily because I let him back in, and not because I wanted/needed him back in. He was at this cookout I was at this past weekend. He called me ( yes, we still keep in contact, well just recently) and said he was coming there( from another state though) and this other guy that I started talking to texted me and told me he was going to be there as well. Ha, see me see trouble.

*note :this cookout was public  for a specific age group and it was thrown by Nigerians.So it wasnt like it was some random cookout that I happen to see mr. lekan at. I can't give out too many details otherwise someone else will find out exactly whos behind this computer!


*Fast forward to 5:30pm*


Me, my sister,brother,friend, her brother and my cousin get to the cookout. Lekan is calling me off the hook, and texting me even AFTER I  picked up his call before I left for the cookout and told him I would call him back.

Lekan was texting me as soon as I reached so we could meet up.
We went for a walk and he started pouring his heart out about how he wanted 'us' to work and how he wanted us to get married in 2/3 years time and that he was going propose real soon. O boy, come see love nwantinti. I didn't know what to make of all that he said. I had been trying to get over him, and here he was telling me he's missed me, and wanted to make things work out. In the middle of the conversation he said ' I love you'. He said it before but this time it was face to face which equals 'awkward moment'. He was being really affectionate which I really don't like ( in public that is) and calling me 'baby' which I don't like either ( yup, im not fit for a relationship) He basically took up all my time at the cookout, so I didn't really get to talk to other people apart from the times I would leave and talk to 'the guy' I've been talking to, and when I left Lekan was calling me telling me to come back to where he was sitting ( talk about possessive)....We left around 9:30 and I was off to go drop off my friend &sister at school. I'm really in a dilemma oh, I'm leaving for school next month and I don't want to be tied down to anyone. Living single is the name of my game!


Marriage is cool and everything but when I think of getting married, I get scared that I won't be 'free' to do as I please. I can't travel the world or do missionary work, I can't stay over family or friends houses for weeks at a time...there so many no-go areas when it comes to marriage. I don't know why he's now coming out and saying all of this. He says he'll fight off any other guy if theres any of them thats chasing me. I just laughed at that statement because there were about 2 or 3 other guys that were trying to talk to me at that cookout...thankfully none of them approached me while I was with him. I don't know why hes forcing the issue of   'boyfriend, girlfriend and marriage. I told him I wanted to date other people for 3-4 other years, and he said 'no, I want you for myself', I don't want any other guy with you ( as in sleeping with me, and I'm still a virgin) this made me laugh, because I can remember him saying that he didn't care whether or not I was one, and he wouldn't have minded if I was one of those girls who slept around either & now he wants to marry me, who hasn't been touched. Guys are funny. I think I'll stay single thank you very much...

Help please!

I need help making a decision.
 I got into American University & University of Miami.
I still havent chosen.
American is #84 and UM is #50, I dont really know if those numbers really mean much.
The deadline has already passed to pay the deposit.
I went to DC, and I loved it, it has a college town feel.
I was in Miami in 08 because I was in school there, and I liked it as well, especially the warm weather year round.

I don't know which to pick.
suggestions would be most helpful especially if anyone knows anything about these two schools!!

The difference between 18 &20

Its like deja vu all over again.
exactly two years ago on my 18th birthday ( or I guess the morning after) I met this ghanian dude at a graduation party. He was really nothing special, he was short with dark skin and funny pointy ears that stuck out like car doors. Me being Nigerian must have caught his interest because he would not stop talking about the ' Nigerian girl out on the front porch'. He even told me that he used to live and work in Lagos ( the only Nigerian city that non-Nigerians seem to know) and how he loved it there. At 18, getting male attention was quite new to me and whether he was approaching me for sex or for a relationship was way beyond my thinking. I let him pressure me into doing things  that I vowed never to do with a man other than my husband and although we did not have sex, I was left feeling extremely guilty.It was only after I stopped talking to him that  I put two and two together and everything clicked like ' oooh ok, thats why he wanted to talk to me'...


At 20:

I met a Naija dude, more specifically igbo, at this party ( again on the morning after my birthday) and I still have some of the same tendencies of the past ( when I was 18) because I was totally unaware of the fact that this guy was staring at me the whole time, and trying to get me to dance. I will admit though, he had a presence that caught my attention but I had met him a few months ago at a movie premiere but I have a feeling that he didn't know who I was, so I left it alone. We were on the back porch and he began telling me how beautiful I was and how he wants to show me what he can do in the bedroom ( ermm ok..) I didnt second guess myself this time because he was honest and straight forward atleast I didnt have to wonder why he was really talking to me. This man was approaching me simply to 'sample' my body and move on to the next one. if this had happened only two years ago, I probably would have been too naive to know what this dude really wanted. Its funny how in a space of just two years we grow and learn what to do and what not do, life experiences really do help us become wiser and avoid the same mistakes, thus the difference between 18 & 20 is clear!

another year

I'm another year older today and honestly another year added to my life is truly PRICELESS. I really thank God, especially since our family friends' son lost his life last week ( he drowned) I havent done much today though except go to church with my aunt ( whos here frm naija) and get a pedi/mani. People who I thought really cared havent said 'Happy Birthday' but it wont stop me from enjoying my birthday

Have a wonderful week ahead everyone!! I promise to blog more often!

an Unexpected blessing

Blessings truly come in many forms and when we least expect it. Up until now I wasn't even thinking about schools or what was going to happen when fall came around....I just had the 'what will be, will be attitude'... I am blessed to even have the opportunity to go to school and become what I want in life.

I just got accepted to the school  I visited when I was in D.C ( more details later) I had to check my email over again to see if I was reading it right. I'm excited but I want to tell everyone when the letter comes in the mail. The only thing thats been on my mind is paying for it, the school is 52k! almost all the schools in D.C are around that amount ( the 40-50k range). It has me worried, but I've already experienced what worrying can do to me, so I'm going to relax and let Him take control. My mom thinks  we should celebrate, but I'm more low-key about the whole thing.  I guess I'm another step closer to achieving my JD/MPH!

Louis Farrakhan and Cathy Hughes Interview on TV One (May 9, 2010) - Part 8

Lets play catch up

I know I haven't posted since last month, I guess I've lost my enthusiasm for blogging ( and I've been busy)
I'll just quickly ( I hope) update since my last post.

Mothers day: We  had planned to take my  mom for dinner or lunch, it didn't work out so we my aunt made jellof rice, salad and meat pie. We headed to the mall to get my mom that Pandora bracelet that everyyyyone is talking about. We got my aunt a perfume set.


The day after: My aunt found out her brother in law was killed on the border of  Switzerland and Italy. He was going shopping. He lived in Germany. He had his 'papers' but someone stole the bag where he put them in. He proceeded to cross the border and the Switzerland police strangled him, and threw him in jail. He died a day later ( this all happened around the end of last month) and they called his family telling them if the body wasn't claimed they were going to burn it. Can you imagine that? Y'know sometimes its not even worth it; going to or living in  another mans country only to be treated in such a way.Its been said that at that particular border, MANY Africans have been killed.


Exams finally came and went. I'm relieved beyond words.


Me and my mother took a road trip to D.C. last week ( I love road trips!!) I went to visit a school over there. It wasn't my first time there but it was nice to drive there with my mom and just laugh and talk about stupid irrelevant things.



My cousin from Lagos just arrived ( yesterday) He's funny, and his laugh is infectious. Hes suppose to stay for two weeks or maybe longer. I'm excited that he's here, there really isn't anything like family.



10 things I don't understand


1. Why do people who work so hard in this country get the short end of the stick? They work hard and get no benefits, meanwhile the teenager who collects welfare, gets everything; a house, and her kids get into all the school programs.

2. why people are so greedy.

3. why people think America is heaven

4.why people call me an 'akata' because I was born here

5. Why some colleges are such scammers

6.Why I have to pay for my ticket to go to Nigeria

7. Why my eyelashes,eyebrows AND my pubic hair have fallen out

8. Why I don't have a job for the summer

9. Why is getting the simplest of jobs so hard?

10.Why every black male in the good ol US of A aspire to become the next drake, or Kobe Bryant.




My Birthday is almost here. In approximately 13 DAYS!!! I'm sort of happy that I will no longer be a teenager, but its all sort of bittersweet. Here are my teenage years in a nutshell:


13-14- I went through an extremely awkward stage. I had pimples like mountains, my nose was too large for my face ( thanks dad!) but it got much better now :) I was also very shy and I kept to myself. When I was this age, things like carrying a purse or going to the movies with a guy was a big deal. Cell phones really weren't a big thing either...this was my 'I don't have a clue' stage.



15-16- I chopped my hair off and dyed it a reddish color. I styled it into a mohawk. This was my rebellious stage. I was depressed and I was crying out for help. My parents didn't really pay attention because their marriage was going down the drain. I was really at my breaking point. I wanted to slit my wrists and basically just 'off' myself. At 16, the summer before my junior year of high school, I began to loose my hair and everything went down hill from there. I was out of it.


17-18- I started wearing wigs, although I was still depressed about it. My parents finally got that divorce that we ( my siblings) were begging my mom to get. This was basically my 'growing' up stage. I started getting better looking and taking better care of myself, I was like  a bride in the bridal chamber or something, getting ready and preparing for my 'unveiling' or the big ' reveal' after a make- over show . I started getting more attention from guys and I didn't know how to handle it.  Despite all this, deep down I was still depressed. I think I was depressed all through out high school actually. I hid behind my wigs, eyeliner and my crazy jokes. When it came time to apply to college, I was screwed big time. My grades were very good, except for my math, and that messed me up. I applied to most of the schools I wanted to go to very late, and most of them told me ' we have exceeded the amount of students'...and blah blah blah....I went to a school in Florida and my depression got even worse. I stayed in my room most of the time, didn't try to make new friends and I was losing more hair, more eyebrow hair and what not.  I wasn't homesick, I was sad/mad/depressed at the whole situation. My faith in God was nonexistent at this point, I was trying to find faith in Him, but I didn't know where to start from, and all the times my mother would call me from school and pray with me on the phone were to me at the time, a waste of my time and her breath.


19- I found out a lot about myself and other people at this stage. This is/was/still is my 'final product stage' and my rebellious stage and 'I'm- not-sure-of-myself-stage all mixed into one. I feel like I'm going through puberty all over again, you know that period where you hate everything about yourself and you wish you could change this or that? Yea that's how I feel. I can't explain it. But I've learned SOOO much about everything. I learned about love/relationships, I learned about God, and how to serve him better, I learned about different cultures/ music ( especially Nigeria's) I learned about different career choices and so many other interesting things. This ride they call ' teenage hood' has been quite a crazy one. I hope to take some of the things I've learned into my 20's, but I'll take most of those things and leave them where they are in my teenage years ;-) and so the count down to two-zero begins!!!

Have a good one
tb

Mommy mi

My mother is probably the sweetest mother around, folks around our way used to say she was like a white lady because almost all the Nigerian mothers we knew at the time, would beat the mess out of their children(in public or private) for even the smallest things . Growing up, my siblings and I clung to my mother like our lives depended on it, if she went to work we cried, even if she was gone even for a few hours we would cry for mommy. My father was around, but there was something about his demeanor that scared the living daylights out of us. I guess it was his appearance;  tall, dark skin and bald ( either that or his hair was very close shaven) he was a  handsome man, but the looks he could give someone were terrifying, but then he could easily crack a smile or erupt in a hearty laugh that could  put us at ease..Her children always came first and no one, not even my father could come between that.My mom  was the type that spoiled her children, especially my brother.. Whether it was candy,toys, barney or aladin tapes, she would go out and get it.The funny thing is, now that we are teenagers/young adults she hardly spoils us, but one thing that remains is the way I react when she comes back from school or work, just like a child who gets excited at the mere presence of their mom or dad when they walk through the door, I, at 19 years old react the same way. My face lights up, I get excited /giddy and kiss & hug her like a little kid. I guess that habit of mine will never die down, even if I'm 30, I'll still cover her face in kisses and give her hugs.Sometimes she'll say ' you think your a baby' but all the same,she lights up too and shes all smiles.

She is a tall woman, with cinnamon colored skin and  a lithe frame. Her face is somewhat round ( and not a wrinkle in sight) she has the cutest nose, and slightly slanted eyes ( chinky). Her lips are full and her black hair is now peppered with streaks of silver-gray hair.All the years of hard work are finally taking its toll on her once active body, her knees are swelling and her back is aching.Yet,she forges ahead for her children and for that I truly thank her. Mommy mi: the sweetest mother in the world!

Vocal Slender

After watching parts 1/2 of  BBC's 'Welcome to Lagos' documentary, (yea I know im late- other countries can't watch the program) Eric Obuh aka 'Vocal Slender'( as did Joseph) really caught my attention. His ambition and determination really inspired me. Although he wasn't born with a silver spoon , hes still laughing  and smiling and he truly shows us what a little determination and persistance can do. In the midst of his struggle, he carries on, and in the western world, some people who make 6 figures and more, people who seemingly have it all , go home and put a .22 to their heads.

His single 'Owo Yapa' is now available on itunes.

check out his facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/Vocalslender?ref=ts

and his myspace
http://www.myspace.com/vocalslender





Also please check out this fabulous writer/blogger :
http://www.deepscribbler.blogspot.com/




I'm glad his dream has finally come true. Hope his story inspires many more people to truly chase after their dreams.

One beacon of inspiration has left us ( RIP Dagrin), and another is beginning his journey.

Dating=Sex?

Does dating have to involve sex? Its like everybody assumes if you have dated someone you are having sex with them, which is almost always true,but I mean can a relationship survive without it? Some couples go on about sex like its an essential ingredient in making the relationship work. As if is the glue that keeps the popsicle sticks on some kindergardener's project propped up.  I feel as though sex kills the relationship ( between a boyfriend/girlfriend). Sex doesn't really help either of the two people involved in a relationship, especially since the woman carries the burden of an 'accident' or 'slip up' during the act of sex. Shes the one that will carry a child for nine months or maybe she will get an abortion and have to go through the pain and guilt of ending an innocent life. She is also the one that is more at risk for STDS and emotional pain. It really makes me sad to see all these young girls my age and younger giving up their bodies like it does mean anything. It actually make it hard for girls who have respect for themselves and integrity, to be seen as a woman to be respected and cherished for the rest of  her life not some piece of trash to be discarded after a few hours of 'fun'. I don't even wonder about the females who stay with guys who treat them badly or break their head,neck and back day in and day out and still stay with their man. Oxytocin is the culprit. Oxytocin really pulls a fast one on couples and their so called 'relationship'. It truly is a 'love drug'. It clouds judgment, especially a woman's, making her blind to serious character flaws that her friends and family can see, but she cant seem to. Because oxytocin is so powerful, it bonds a couple together, creating closeness. Sex is a mask. It masks underlying problems in a relationship,so a couple can bond ( marriage) but outside of marriage it masks problems, and sex becomes the center of a the relationship.

Dudes get surprised when a girl tells them that shes a virgin. Most of their responses sound like " noooo, you cant be!" you are too pretty to be one....or "yea right so what do you do, 'yall masterbate n sht?"( which was really said by someone!) and you nko, are you as pure as the first blanket of snow? Sometimes I wonder oh, do females really have more self control or am I just being silly? Is it such a bad thing to remain 'pure'? or is it only a bad thing for a guy who feels as though his private parts will fall off if he doesn't have sex? If you cave and give in, you can get hurt and you can possibly lose your guy that is until hes done using you. And if you don't cave in, then you will  lose him anyway, and that means he really wasn't important anyway...

This is why lines like 'you mad cute' don't work on me. Those are superficial words, that are only meant to coerce me  into something that will very likely be regretted . If anything needs stimulating it is my mind, I want to be stimulated by good conversation and words that have meaning to them. A man with self control over not only his body but the words that come out of his mouth is what is impressive, not a man who's esteem is so low, he measures his self worth by how many partners hes had, and how they 'come back for more because he handles his business,even though hes not the best looking guy around'.

I'm not perfect. I am not a saint. I just like to screen out the bozos before they even get an inkling as to what the first letter of my name begins with.




*And let me add that women can be extremely conniving and manipulative as well as men. They use their 'feminine wiles' to get men to do what they want. They have a hidden agenda and will stop at nothing to get it fulfilled. They know exactly what they are doing when they rim their eyes with kohl, and smear on the mascara and lipstick. They are on the prowl looking for a man to seduce and 'trap' in her web. They can only use their breasts or behind to entice a man, thinking that what they show a man is what will keep him. Its true though what caught his attention is the only thing that will keep his attention. Nothing else, nothing more.  Many females use the same manipulative lines to get guys to things with them sexually, even after meeting the dude for like 5 hours. Females know the power of their sexuality, we know that if we give a guy a certain look or touch/move our bodies in a certain way, we can drive a man wild. Women like this are vixens, not only in their mannerisms but in the way they look. Any man unlucky enough to get caught up with this woman, hmmm na you know!! because she will manipulate the guy to no end until he's 'vexed to death ' (judges 16:15-17) in every way possible: spiritually,sexually,verbally, &emotionally.*

" Ive waited long enough, about a year, I think that says a lot about me. It says that I am a patient person"
-Anonymous, when told by his 'girlfriend' that if he couldn't wait then the relationship was over.

..and the men who have waited for marriage nko? lwkmd.





These are excerpts from the book "A Man Worth Waiting For: How to Avoid a Bozo" by Jackie Kendall.



As I read this section I found myself being reminded of so many Boaz's in my life who display these qualities! I'm so thankful for them!


They are out there single ladies! Let's not settle for Bozo's!






A Man Worth Waiting For (MWWF) has Noble Character






--He Loves in Action as Well as Words






--He Inspires Respect






--He Exhibits the "Three I's"


Identity in Christ


Integrity in Life


Initiative






--He Protects


Physical Protection


Emotional Protection


--Sad to say, Christian girls today don't expect to be treated with honor. They don't expect guys to be in awe of them. They're so in awe of the guys, they'll do whatever the guys want! A normal, proper attitude toward you as a young woman is one of respect and protection. Men should protect your honor and your purity. A Boaz does.


Where do you think Boaz goe his sensitivity training? Consider his background. He was raised by a mom who knew firsthand how men can take advantage of women! Did you know that Boaz's mom was Rahab the harlot? Boaz was raised by a woman with a colorful past, but her wise choices decided her future destiny. Rahab chose the God of Israel, she rescued Israel's spies (who later saved her life), and she raised a boy who became a principled protector of women (Josh 2). Rahab trained her son to understand: guys are here to protect, not exploit women.






--He Provides


--At mealtime Boaz said to her, "Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar." When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had some left over. As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, "Even if she gathers among the sheaves, don't embarrass her. Rather, pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don't rebuke her." (Ruth 2:14-16)


After sharing lunch with her, Boaz even secretly arranged for greater provision! He was quite extravagant. As I previously noted, he went beyond what the Hebrew Law required for the needy. The Hebrew Law required only that Boaz give Ruth the leftovers of his harvest-but he gave from the harvest itself. Why does a woman settle for a man who is too self-absorbed to give her more than she needs? Why do women so willingly settle for crumbs? Why do so many bright, wonderful girls act like the needy teen I was in high school always paying for the privilege of being loved? Do women so want male attention that they are willing to pay for it rather than be the recipient of blessings initiated in secret, like Boaz's provision for Ruth?


When you're sorting through the Boazes from the Bozo's in your life, look at how a man gives. Does he give freely, generously, offer more than enough? Or does he cling to his wallet, dispersing funds reluctantly or morosely? A Boaz gladly provides.


A Bozo offers no security because he holds back financially and emotionally. A Boaz provides joyfully.






--He is a Persistent Pursuer


--Boaz approached Ruth first. He instigated their relationship. When she responded he was persistent in his pursuit. Such honorable pursuit and persistence stand in such contrast to the training that men today receive in relation to being a MWWF. From a young age, men are trained how to hide their feelings, how to win in a fistfight, how to hit a ball, how to shoot a gun, how to birdie on the sixteenth hole, and how to manipulate several remote controls simultaneously. Some men live a whole lifetime and never master the science of How to Handle a Woman. The Apostle Peter had a wife, and he knew from firsthand experience what he wrote about in 1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands, dwell with [your wives] according to knowledge". The word "knowledge" comes from a Greek word meaning "science". A woman is a science to be studied and discovered, but so few men are coached or mentored into loving women as they need to be loved. We see in Ephesians that Paul's great commandment to men is to love them as much as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). Talk about sacrificial love!


A Bozo will love a woman in whatever way he feels is best-in whatever way serves him, not her. A Boaz will love a woman in a way that shows his feelings-and persistence in meeting a woman's needs is one way he does this.






--He is a Prepared Partner


--Boaz was attuned to the heart and needs of the woman in his life. A prepared partner is always willing to attend to another's needs. We've seen that Boaz was responsive to Ruth's vulnerability both emotionally and physically. A Boaz expresses and acts on his compassion for others. A Bozo, on the other hand, focuses on himself. He may briefly pity someone in his life, but he doesn't actually do much to help her.


Boaz was a student of Ruth's heart in that he quickly ascertained her needs, quickly promised to take care of them, and quickly did! He protected her from harm, he soothed her fears, and he completed the legal legwork to marry her--all in a very short time! A lesser man would have taken no notice of this foreigner, wouldn't have thought about her safety, would have refused the hassle of taking on Ruth and her mother-in-law, and would have left the women to fend for themselves.


A Boaz of a guy speaks and acts in ways that heal a wounded woman, treating her like a princess even if she doesn't see herself as one.






--He is a Fighter of Battles


--Boaz was an overcomer. He was never one to shrink away from a challenge or let others do the fighting for him. We see this in the fact that he is wealthy. He had fought business battles to become successful. Second, he was single. In a marriage-oriented culture that considered sons as riches, he could have married any young woman. But he chose to remain single until the right woman came along. He fought the battles of loneliness and cultural pressure.


You and I have a heavenly Father who has set the standard so high through the biblical precedent of Boaz that we don't have to settle for men who can't, by faith, conquer the city of the enemy--whether it is the enemy of sexual temptation, greed or entitlement.


The battles a man wins before marriage are a forecast of the victories he will achieve after marriage.


What a man conquers before he is even married becomes a frame for future victory. Don't settle for a man who is not fighting the good fight of faith. The skirmishes he faces as a single man are only preparing him for the major wars that are ahead. A Bozo runs from conflict and battle. A Boaz faces and conquers it.


Jesus died on the cross to conquer sin and death for the sake of his bride (those who are His followers). Don't settle for a guy who isn't willing to boldly conquer the enemy in order to win the privilege of sharing this journey on this earth with you.




On another note,I'm pretty much fed up with women making excuses for men .They have the audacity to complain about the dude. I mean what you see is what you get. You tolerate his nasty attitude then you are telling him its O.K. You are telling him 'yea go ahead and treat me like trash, I'm ok with it".

" All men are going to cheat"....haaaa! back to sender oh, its not my portion at all. I hear a lot of women making excuses for men: 'its their nature'...'they can't control themselves' and the list goes on.So you didnt know who you were marrying when you were doing love nwantinti all around your father's village during the kola nut and palm wine ceremony se? abeg, love gini?maybe the love really wasn't there. Maybe he was the next best thing since sliced bread and you 'settled' for him just for the sake of your family and his. I refuse to make excuses for any man. He's not a baby and I will not address or treat him as such. I only settle for God's best.

5 minutes in the sack won't do anything for me, it wont make me happy, it won't make me feel loved. It only makes me feel like another number..( or taking a number & waiting in line!), another chick, just another night/day.. And me, I'm not just another chick.
make una clear road oh,I be confammedd babe, waiting for a confammmed guy, a boaz and I'm on my way to becoming a Ruth.


have a wonderful week ahead.

Smoothie Shakedown & random thoughts....

A big THANK YOU to everyone, who commented on my last post, I feel much better, thanks to my dr, who wrote a presription for a 'cranial prosthesis, aka wig. This whole thing is really teaching me how to put more faith in God, and leave everything up to Him.

I'll hopefully be getting 2 wigs and hopefully my insurance covers 80-100% of the cost, these wigs are the highest quality on the market so they cost around $2,000...I'm a college student o! e no easy arrall!! Somebody( anon.) commented that eating better helps with hair loss, which I've researched before  and I'm trying to start on the right track as far as eating right goes. I'm starting this thing called the 'smoothie shake down. A smoothie, comprised of: berries ( or any other fruit), flaxseed oil and or flax seeds,8 ounces of water, fat flush body protein,ice cubes ( optional).  You have the smoothies for bfast/lunch then have lean protein and a salad for dinner and drink lots of water and take vitamins throughout the day. Many women were said to have lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. Check it out:

Smoothie shakedown

 The semester is almost over, lets say in like 3 more weeks. now I can do like terry g and go 'everybody shout hallelujah'... Speaking of  a nigerian artist, bracket/timaya are in ny this weekend, and yours truly will be attending the 'concert'. But i think this will be my last, because I really dont like all these events where you have to pay so many 'fees', like worraheck, pay to get in, pay extra  at the door..and if u come late dat na  ur own passinal (personal) business because dem don slap  an extra $10  on ya head, then u must pay for coat check, shoe check,hat check...abegi d wahala is to mushhh... BUT if I can get out of the house just for a couple of hours, or even the whole weekend, then im gone. Im still deciding on whether to go or not,I can't make up my mind anymore these days....

I've been having knee pains lately, my brother thinks its tendonitis. He got it when he started growing. I'm 19, I haven't had a growth spurt despite the fact that I am 5'10. I don't think I am growing anymore. I am flat like a wall. Either I grow up or I grow out. If it was up to me I would rather grow out *wink*wink*. 

Some random thoughts:

June 21st

the first day of summer, and the day I turn twenty.

Work

I'll be working thru most of the summer time. Probably like 36( i wan die?) 30 hours a week.

Nigeria House

I should be taking a trip or two down there once again to get my Nigerian passport, the first time I went the guy needed proof as to whether my parents were from Nigeria,smh

10
is the number of schools, Ive applied to, still waiting to hear back from them.

$0.00

is all I have to my name :-/

Port-au-prince

was where I was suppose to go with a bunch of students from Pennstate, the trip was canceled.

natural

I'm going natural, not so much with my hair, since i havent got much but with what i put on my skin and in my body. I use black soap, straight from ghana, and coconut/jojoba oil on my scalp/skin.

vintage/online shopping

my new hobby despite my empty account :)

9 reasons why I love being Nigerian:

1. traditonal clothing, and every tribe adds their own thing to it, like the yorubas ( aso oke sp?,buba, wrapper, agbada )...or the igbos with isi egu ( worn by igbo men)

2. the food, everything from jellof rice, moi moi,pounded yam and egusi, rice and stew is enough reason to love being Nigerian. and every tribe makes a wonderful contribution :)

3. pidgin english, I know its not 'proper' or whatever but its fun to hear someone getting insulted in pidgin, I never really grew up speaking it but I speak it but not all the time, since i was born here, im not expected to even understand pigdin...its not even hard to understand & its very similar to patois some of the words in patois hv connections to the yoruba/igbo language as well, similarly some pidgin is connected to portuguese.

pigdin: pikin

patois: pikney

patois: boasie ( proud)

yoruba: bosi ( proud)

patois: unu

pidgin: una (igbo, meaning 'you people')

pidgin: sabi ( to know, yoruba)

Portuguese: saber ( to know)

4. How some of the men' toast' women

soooo entertaining lmao, thats all i gotta say about that!

5. Nigerian parties that end at 5am

these are the parties I used to like to go to, where they play mostly naija music,theres plenty food/drinks , and at the end of the night, we walk to the car, shoes in tow, along with several tek-away plates n drinks...

6. Parents

Nigerian parents are hilarious. They dont really mean to be but they are...when you get in trouble this mostly what is heard:

'my friend common do what I asked you!

'If I get up from this chair it wont be fun for you'

" i will kill you dis night'

'If not for God, I would have shown you pepe this night'

'If i break ya head, ehn?"

'stuuu-pid, boy, see ihn head like coco-nut'

'idjiot, god punish ya head'

'ahwaley' ah-wal-lay( may dog eat you)

7. Nigerian movies, sometimes these movies are a bit too much, as in they can be so embarrassing and so horrible, yet some plot lines are really good and some movies like mr, ibu,baby police,green snake, 2 rats,akin & paw paw,bafana bafana,& dedon and decapone ARE TOOOO funny, they have me rollin....

8.Shakara or Effizy. Its too much oh, Nigerians too like effizy oh, from buying a new benz with a navigation system to just the way some nigerians pronouce certain things in their so called yankee accent ( gimme a break lmao) effizy can be real discreet or real obvious, gotta love it though!!

9. 300+ tribes in Nigeria from Efik, to Bini, Yoruba, Igbo,Hausa,Urhobo, and Fulani. Each tribe has its own traditions that add to what Nigeria is all about, this is what makes Nigerian culture so incredibly rich.

 Everyone should enjoy their weekend!

Emotions got the best of me.

My emotions/feelings are out of control. I can't help it. I'm frustrated,depressed,angry and stressed..and I'm at my boiling point. Its Easter, and I'm in the library, 'studying' for a test, that I may possibly fail. My cousin and her boyfriend came over for dinner along with my other cousin and his stupid free loading friends, I'm in no mood to' sit and chat' , laugh and smile and pretend like everything is all good, so here I am, 'studying'. Its kinda funny how they  come running to aunties house for food, but didn't bother to check on her when she fell.
Sometimes I can't stand my family members. They only call or email/txt  when they need something, other than that most of them seemingly don't give a hoot.


 Hair  doesn't define a person, but if thats the case, why then, do I feel so ugly?
Why do I feel like I'm losing a battle here? Why do I feel so alone
Is my faith in God not enough? Is he testing me? Is this a punishment or a joke?
I'm afraid to sleep because of a mysterious force that holds me down when I try to get up. I can't move my body, and I can't move my mouth.

Yesterday, I cried. For the first time in a long time. To the point where my eyes were red and I got a headache.
Everyday, I watch the curly little hairs on my head, fall  to the ground. silent and nonchalant. I'm at square one again. I don't have a terminal illness, and for that I am grateful. I can only vent on here or in my journal.

I have an Anatomy exam tommorow. All I want to do is lay down and cry and forget about the exam.
But crying won't help anything. It won't bring my hair back. It wont help me on the exam either.



Y'know, throwing my hands in the air would be and could be much better. Because right now, I could care less. Left to me, I would cut off all communication with so called friends and family members...and on Easter Sunday of all days.

At least my little cousins don't call me 'baldy' anymore. At least my other cousins don't bother asking, which is better because I don't want to hear : 'its only hair', or 'it will grow back...

I'll put on a smiley face  for the coming weeks, just like I always do.
Just to get by.

Untitled-

My brother came home 2 weekends ago. It felt like its been ages since I last saw him. The car was full of laughter as usual, while Wande Coal's " Kiss your hand"  blasting and the three of us were shouting/singing along to it, almost sounding like a kid bop commerical lmao. Those moments are some of the best moments I have with my siblings, and  my dad  would say " enjoy the years you have with your siblings because a few years from now you'll only be getting a phone call or a visit once or twice a year". I kinda tear up at the thought now that I think about it; My brother could be in California or some warm state since he hates the cold, I could be in Belize or Nigeria or Paris or somewhere like that and my sister in New York. Knowing my brother, he would probably only call once or twice, most likely because he needs something or because hes injured him self and doesn't know what to put on the cut...I don't think he does this on purpose but hes painfuly quiet. You can ask him five questions and his response will be: uhuh, yea, no, ok. But once he starts with his pidgin? you can't get him to shut up. He's always adding 'oh' to the end of his sentences or 'ehen, you see it"? or starting his sentences with 'omo, or oga'. He's taught almost everyone on his team how to greet my dad in pidgin ( or anyone for that matter) and they all say " oga, how far" in which my father replies 'you are a mumu'...smh...his pidgin is improving though lol...his favorite Nigerian name to say ( for reasons unbeknownst to the rest of us) is tolulope...I guess he watches too many t-boy videos ( the don't jealous me dude)

My aunt took a nasty fall yesterday. She was going down stairs trying to turn off the dryer, and fell. Her clavicle popped out of its socket, and the EMTs/police/ firefighters came because she couldnt move. I felt bad, mostly because I or my sister should have been there to help her do whatever she needed to do, but we were at a car auction. She can never sit still. Shes either washing dishes or cooking or folding clothes and what not.




I've sent in all my applications for my schools except one, I'm hoping against hope, I get in and away from here.




My hair's been falling out like crazy. Its makes me depressed, but I can't cry. I'm all cried out. I'm used to the whole process: Fall out, grow back, fall out,grow back..its not like anyone actually cares especially not my family members except my mom & aunt, because afterall its just hair.The warm weather is back...and I'm not  looking foreward to the weather when it hits 80+....




America., has once again succeeded in making a Christian holiday, commericalized ( bunnies, eggs etc) kids didn't have school on Friday ( Good friday) because of a holiday most of them don't know the meaning of or even celebrate. Do they  assume everyone is a catholic/christian though? Why don't kids have no school on the hindu holidays? 


Happy Easter everyone.