Ambition

I've neglected my blog, but for good reasons. I had school work, mid-terms and lots of thinking to do.
I missed blogging though. If I was blogging regularly I would have blogged about Nigeria's 50th independence and how I celebrated ( my Oct.1st was completely horrible btw) but I was in ny for the parade but I didn't go clubbing ( so much eye candy* wink*) but my new thing is " leave every cute man alone where you found him until he approaches you and when he does check his references with the holy spirit". Its been working so far, but then again the way I carry myself these days won't attract such a man lol. I'm pretty casual about what I wear these days and how I wear my hair, errr wig. Dc has been great, it definitely has problems with poverty and rats, which every city in America is struggling with I guess.  I've joined clubs,made a few more friends,ignored a few,dropped some, yea you know the whole spiel. Since I've been in dc I've really been struggling with something I never thought I would struggle with: my identity. For those of you who don't know, I'm an American born Nigerian. For some reason I'm feeling like the other Nigerian students (some are exchange/international students) treat me very different as if I'm not even one of them. For weeks, I was finding it hard to comprehend, but now I've come to the a conclusion that I've been denying for quite some time. We are inexplicably different. I mean the Nigerians born and raised in the US and the ones raised in Nigeria. We act differently, we speak differently(obviously) our mannerisms are different. We are just different. I'm ok with that and I fully understand how/why we are so different. I don't have to become best 'buddies' with someone for the simple fact that they are Nigerian, and a Nigerian guy who I met in the library made me fully aware of this when he started off our 'convo' like this: him: are you african? me:yes him: Nigerian? me: yes--him: have u been making an effort to meet other Nigerians on campus? me: no, its not really my priority right now--him: wow, I've never met a Nigeria that would say that me: *silent* him: so do you hang out with the 'whites'? --me: umm no---him: ok, well when you see me around campus say hi, because I always see you and you just walk by me, I knew you  must be a nigerian, cuz thats nija babe behavior'. Wow, I never knew I had 'Naija babe' behavior. But anyway point is, I'm friendly to those who are friendly to me. If your not friendly, I usually just ignore you. Its a terrible way to go about things, I know! I'm trying to change really I am!


I'm kind of feeling like a 29 year old thats turning 30, like I'm running out of time to do my last minute-life changing thing.Almost like I'm rushing to the alter *laughs* Like I'm feeling wayyyy out of my element. I feel like ok here I am, a 20 year old college student, with the world as my oyster, yet I feel like something is missing, like I haven't really accomplished much in my 20 years on earth. When you go to a university where juniors are working full time on capitol hill or at the White House as Obama's activity coordinator, then you might have an inkling about how I feel. I'm trying to really take advantage of the opportunities that my school has to offer. I mean my school is KNOWN for the crazy/incredible internships/jobs that students land ( some students get internships in their freshman year) and also the study abroad programs. I'm trying to do so many things at once, my mind is always thinking of a new idea, I'm constantly writing mental notes in my head about something, and I KNOW that using a job at the white house as my measuring stick is just ridiculous, but forgive me, I can't help it. I know I'm ambitious, I just don't know how to make my ambitions reality. I talk more than I do, I write more about what I want to do more than I act on it.

I gotta admit, thinking/writing about my goals,hopes and dreams is just not cutting the cake anymore. I need to make moves! I need to get more ambitious and get to work.

Have a wonderful week ahead!


RIP to The Cunning Linguist. The talented ones always leave us so soon.
shouts out 2 kilishi.e-hugs*. You'll be ok!

random

- My roommate is annoying.
Shes annoying in more ways than one but the number one reason why is she keeps the tv remote on her bed or desk., yet she says I can watch it and change the channels or whatever...I should have just kept my television and connect it somewhere else somehow...oyinbo ppl are something else.


-Cute guys are everywhere on my campus. From asian to lebanese to Nigerian...'i never see this kain thing be for' ( jaywon voice lol) i met a Nigerian boy last night...he was tooooo cute, we were both smilin hard like fools lol


-I start bikram yoga this week. Its in a heated room for around 90minutes. DC is surprisingly a very health conscious city...people are always jogging or walking or doing some sort of  physical activity


-Something i observed since i got here is Nigerian girls who come straight from Nigeria seem to have attitude problems..like a real serious one. They start to act stuck up for no reason and sort of act standoffish...like the two nigerian girls in my bio class..the first one is cool but shes boring as anything...as in im trying hard to hold a convo and shes in another planet ( she wasnt the issue, her friend was) i came up to her friendn started talking and she was acting aloof n what not, almost like she was trying to make me look stupid, i just walked off and left the two of them standing there...since then i ignore both of them...made me realize that i dont have to make friends with every nigerian i see smh!!

-

Ive arrived

Shoutsout to everyone who commented on my last post, I'm about to post my replies.
On another note, I've arrived in DC( this post was meant for 8/24!)...well I've been here since what friday I think. I love dc already, last time I was here was back in '06. Only thing I don't like about DC is the cost of living here, na wa o, my pockets are howling. I went to the grocery store today, and they charge 5 cents for an extra bag....lmyo its not that serious its just a plastic bag. But on the flip side, dreads are big out here, and I love dudes with dreads...short, tall,light or dark as long as he has dreads then he has my attention...then i focus my attention elsewhere lol. My school is absolutely beautiful and  its kept pretty clean. Most of the students here are pretty wealthy ( their parents that is )which means on any given day its not out the ordinary to see a BM or a lezzus cruising down the streets of the campus & most kids are foreign and have diplomat/ambassador parents which explains it all. I'm slowly trying to make friends, because chillin in the dorm is no fun,but this time around Ive been lazy about it...I had the opportunity yesterday and I blew it. I went into the bookstore, and I saw this tall,black dude, I dont know if he was cute because I didn't look at his face...so this dude says hi, how are you? I said hi and kept moving....15mins later hes coming towards me...and I'm thinking...what in the world does this guy want?...so he asks me if I needed help with anything and I said NO!! i said no!!! now that I think about it, it would have been a perfect opportunity to make a new 'friend'...lol or a new driver lmao... if there are any bloggers in the DMV area, email me oo (damsel44@yahoo.com) i wouldnt mind meeting up...

Since I turned 20 I've:
1. joined twitter
2.went vintage shopping for the first time
3.got my nose pierced
4.moved to dc
5.been to more weddings in a month than I ever have in my whole life
6.eaten gelato for the first time

Igbankwu & what I learned

According the 'programme' on the tables at the wedding, an Igbankwu is a Nigerian wedding consisting of

-the bride looking for her bubby

-the grooms family greeting the brides family

-prayers etc...

-masquerades

I cant really remember what the rest of it consists of but it was actually quite exciting because I've never been to a Nigerian Traditional wedding (but i went to 4 white weddings this month alone),but  the most exciting part was when she took the palm wine and was looking for her hubby...how cute!

I really learned sooo much about how we do our traditional weddings, I learned that each tribe does their own thing. Igbo people do theirs very traditional as in they really go by the 'books', plus they do the whole 'look for 'ya' husband ' thing with the palm wine.I also noticed ( at the igbo wedding n the yoruba one i went to) that igbos don't do the whole lace/gele thing its more of a yoruba thing, because the geles look on point and the aso ebi is crazzzyyy as in, i cant even describe it...no offense to igbos,biko its nothing personal ;-) Yorubas do the whole postrate thing...and I heard akwa iboms do this thing where the bride has to cook a couple different dishes of soup to see if she can cook...when I heard this, I was sitting there like what the...? they really cant be serious

((*crosses akwa ibom men off the list for potential hubbies))

igbo

yoruba

edo

hausa

akwa ibom

As for the groom and the bride, hmm lets just say the guy looked miserable ( like he was going to the electric chair) and the bride was waving like miss America....the place was packed with people obviously just trying to be nosy and see whats going on. I found it so strange that the parents of the groom were going along with everything like everything was peachy keen, when they really had a hidden agenda....but hey who knows, the rumors could be false, maybe they are getting married on their own terms not their parents, i really don't know or care because the only thing i wanted to do at that wedding was eat!. I saw a couple getting married ( next yr) I bet you they were thinking : 'our wedding will be better than theirs' lmyo ( laugh my yansh off) I'm sure all couples do that, but the way the bride to be's mom is going on and on about her daughters wedding hopefully it is! in short the guests berra be eating from golden spoons and dipping strawberries in a chocolate fountain...lmyo

All this wedding talk is making me want to get married myself! cant wait for that day!!

until next time.

td.

arranged marriage in 2010?

I'm going to an arranged marriage ceremony today, well the traditional marriage for an igbo couple.
Its arranged in an extremely weird way. The grooms mother wants her son to marry this girl so she can put him through law school (shes a nurse prac.) and then she said ' they will find him his real wife after she pays his law school off.'she was telling someone that 'she has to do what she has to do' (wow) I also heard stories about the grooms mother saying the girl was lazy because she can't cook ( and I don't think being born n raised in America is an excuse) and that she was questioning her future-in laws about the upbringing of their daughter...its like one big fiasco and the whole  state is going to be there just to be nosy, you guys know how Nigerians are...and for some reason, I'm feeling sorry for the bride, its almost as everyone is going just to get a good laugh in....

*will definitely update on what happens @ the wedding.

td.

Moral decay

Maybe it took me losing all my hair, and looking like a gorri mappa shine shine to notice how much the moral decay in our culture encourages people to put so much emphasis  on physical appearance,attributes, and sexual attraction . The pressure is especially mounting for women because to be an 'ugly' female (with a flat butt) in this society, its like your doomed.However if a female is not pretty and she has an overload behind her, she is bound to turn heads and collect numbers. If shes just 'ugly then you hear people saying ' awww, I feel bad for her, wonder if she'll ever get a husband?'  An ugly man can always get a beautiful woman on his arm no matter what. Why? Don't ask me, because I still don't understand that either. Being an ugly man is much better than being an ugly female apparently. Ever seen a female try to captivate a man with her personality? Nope. Instead she prances around in a tight jumpsuit showing off her assets. I just laugh at females like this because it is very sad. Its sad to know that the only thing she feels shes capable of using is her backside to attract men.She can't even  have an intelligent conversation, because the words in her vocabulary don't expand too far.  How you get a man is how you have to work to keep him. So if your using sex,money or your body then you must keep using  those things in order to keep your man. Another woman with more money,better sex and a better body will come along and there goes your man!! I know the pressure to look good  is much, I'm feeling it too, but I can't live in the gym to get a bigger butt, I can't give  sex or money all in the name of a man. Eventually my body will fall apart, and I won't even be able to have sex, or even work for the money, not even beauty can hold a relationship together because that will fade...so whats the point why use those things as a basis for a relationship?  It  seems like every girl wants a big butt yea its the new trend for summer &fall , but for what? to attract a man. But all he really wants to do is have sex and move on to another girl with an even bigger butt. Everyone just wants to be sexually attractive to the opposite sex, find a room ( or car) and get it on and move on.Makes us girls who are waiting on our prince's in shining armor to question the moral values of  most of these guys. I feel bad for guys more, especially with the way some girls dress. If I was a guy, I wouldn't want to get to know a female if I saw her breasts and butt displayed like a buffet. If shes showing off what she has, then she must want someone to touch it, no? But the funny thing with females is, they love to dress in a provocative way to turn heads (thats the whole point) and to them it doesnt matter if the head they are turning is of that of a married man or a man in a relationship.BUT when they are with their husbands or boyfriends and a girl is dressed provocatively they automatically HATE the girl and don't want their man to so much as look in her direction. O.k. if you don't want your man lusting after another girl, dress your body in a way that you are making anyone elses man lust after you either. I scratch your back, you scratch mine! So with that done and said

I pray that:

- I can look for clothes that flatter my shape, but don't make men lust
-my future hubby will be satisfied  with my love
-that he will reject and be disgusted by all the seductresses on the prowl.
-that young woman today realize that their personalities have the ability to attract a  worthy man of integrity
-that young men realize that a woman shouldn't be measured by her physical attributes



...ok #rantover

thank you to those who commented on my last,post I really appreciate it! ♥

I miss my hair. I miss my eyebrows and eyelashes. The heat is so irritating, it almost makes me hate summer and all that comes with it. I want to be totally happy again, but hair doesn't equal happiness or does it? When you go without something for so long, you realize how much you actually need it and want it badly. I saw my first grade teacher and she asked me if I was going for treatment. I don't have cancer.

I'm happy to say I will no longer be blogging about olu (lekan) hes a closed chapter in my life. On to better things, so no I won't settle.


I want to look normal for once, atleast if I do, its one less thing to worry about apart from classes,homework n projects. I have to slap a stupid itchy wig on, paint on eyebrows n put in eyelashes, like a drag queen.
So now I'm a depressed drag queen....

'Happier posts are sure to follow....but who really reads them anyway.