Dating=Sex?

Does dating have to involve sex? Its like everybody assumes if you have dated someone you are having sex with them, which is almost always true,but I mean can a relationship survive without it? Some couples go on about sex like its an essential ingredient in making the relationship work. As if is the glue that keeps the popsicle sticks on some kindergardener's project propped up.  I feel as though sex kills the relationship ( between a boyfriend/girlfriend). Sex doesn't really help either of the two people involved in a relationship, especially since the woman carries the burden of an 'accident' or 'slip up' during the act of sex. Shes the one that will carry a child for nine months or maybe she will get an abortion and have to go through the pain and guilt of ending an innocent life. She is also the one that is more at risk for STDS and emotional pain. It really makes me sad to see all these young girls my age and younger giving up their bodies like it does mean anything. It actually make it hard for girls who have respect for themselves and integrity, to be seen as a woman to be respected and cherished for the rest of  her life not some piece of trash to be discarded after a few hours of 'fun'. I don't even wonder about the females who stay with guys who treat them badly or break their head,neck and back day in and day out and still stay with their man. Oxytocin is the culprit. Oxytocin really pulls a fast one on couples and their so called 'relationship'. It truly is a 'love drug'. It clouds judgment, especially a woman's, making her blind to serious character flaws that her friends and family can see, but she cant seem to. Because oxytocin is so powerful, it bonds a couple together, creating closeness. Sex is a mask. It masks underlying problems in a relationship,so a couple can bond ( marriage) but outside of marriage it masks problems, and sex becomes the center of a the relationship.

Dudes get surprised when a girl tells them that shes a virgin. Most of their responses sound like " noooo, you cant be!" you are too pretty to be one....or "yea right so what do you do, 'yall masterbate n sht?"( which was really said by someone!) and you nko, are you as pure as the first blanket of snow? Sometimes I wonder oh, do females really have more self control or am I just being silly? Is it such a bad thing to remain 'pure'? or is it only a bad thing for a guy who feels as though his private parts will fall off if he doesn't have sex? If you cave and give in, you can get hurt and you can possibly lose your guy that is until hes done using you. And if you don't cave in, then you will  lose him anyway, and that means he really wasn't important anyway...

This is why lines like 'you mad cute' don't work on me. Those are superficial words, that are only meant to coerce me  into something that will very likely be regretted . If anything needs stimulating it is my mind, I want to be stimulated by good conversation and words that have meaning to them. A man with self control over not only his body but the words that come out of his mouth is what is impressive, not a man who's esteem is so low, he measures his self worth by how many partners hes had, and how they 'come back for more because he handles his business,even though hes not the best looking guy around'.

I'm not perfect. I am not a saint. I just like to screen out the bozos before they even get an inkling as to what the first letter of my name begins with.




*And let me add that women can be extremely conniving and manipulative as well as men. They use their 'feminine wiles' to get men to do what they want. They have a hidden agenda and will stop at nothing to get it fulfilled. They know exactly what they are doing when they rim their eyes with kohl, and smear on the mascara and lipstick. They are on the prowl looking for a man to seduce and 'trap' in her web. They can only use their breasts or behind to entice a man, thinking that what they show a man is what will keep him. Its true though what caught his attention is the only thing that will keep his attention. Nothing else, nothing more.  Many females use the same manipulative lines to get guys to things with them sexually, even after meeting the dude for like 5 hours. Females know the power of their sexuality, we know that if we give a guy a certain look or touch/move our bodies in a certain way, we can drive a man wild. Women like this are vixens, not only in their mannerisms but in the way they look. Any man unlucky enough to get caught up with this woman, hmmm na you know!! because she will manipulate the guy to no end until he's 'vexed to death ' (judges 16:15-17) in every way possible: spiritually,sexually,verbally, &emotionally.*

" Ive waited long enough, about a year, I think that says a lot about me. It says that I am a patient person"
-Anonymous, when told by his 'girlfriend' that if he couldn't wait then the relationship was over.

..and the men who have waited for marriage nko? lwkmd.





These are excerpts from the book "A Man Worth Waiting For: How to Avoid a Bozo" by Jackie Kendall.



As I read this section I found myself being reminded of so many Boaz's in my life who display these qualities! I'm so thankful for them!


They are out there single ladies! Let's not settle for Bozo's!






A Man Worth Waiting For (MWWF) has Noble Character






--He Loves in Action as Well as Words






--He Inspires Respect






--He Exhibits the "Three I's"


Identity in Christ


Integrity in Life


Initiative






--He Protects


Physical Protection


Emotional Protection


--Sad to say, Christian girls today don't expect to be treated with honor. They don't expect guys to be in awe of them. They're so in awe of the guys, they'll do whatever the guys want! A normal, proper attitude toward you as a young woman is one of respect and protection. Men should protect your honor and your purity. A Boaz does.


Where do you think Boaz goe his sensitivity training? Consider his background. He was raised by a mom who knew firsthand how men can take advantage of women! Did you know that Boaz's mom was Rahab the harlot? Boaz was raised by a woman with a colorful past, but her wise choices decided her future destiny. Rahab chose the God of Israel, she rescued Israel's spies (who later saved her life), and she raised a boy who became a principled protector of women (Josh 2). Rahab trained her son to understand: guys are here to protect, not exploit women.






--He Provides


--At mealtime Boaz said to her, "Come over here. Have some bread and dip it in the wine vinegar." When she sat down with the harvesters, he offered her some roasted grain. She ate all she wanted and had some left over. As she got up to glean, Boaz gave orders to his men, "Even if she gathers among the sheaves, don't embarrass her. Rather, pull out some stalks for her from the bundles and leave them for her to pick up, and don't rebuke her." (Ruth 2:14-16)


After sharing lunch with her, Boaz even secretly arranged for greater provision! He was quite extravagant. As I previously noted, he went beyond what the Hebrew Law required for the needy. The Hebrew Law required only that Boaz give Ruth the leftovers of his harvest-but he gave from the harvest itself. Why does a woman settle for a man who is too self-absorbed to give her more than she needs? Why do women so willingly settle for crumbs? Why do so many bright, wonderful girls act like the needy teen I was in high school always paying for the privilege of being loved? Do women so want male attention that they are willing to pay for it rather than be the recipient of blessings initiated in secret, like Boaz's provision for Ruth?


When you're sorting through the Boazes from the Bozo's in your life, look at how a man gives. Does he give freely, generously, offer more than enough? Or does he cling to his wallet, dispersing funds reluctantly or morosely? A Boaz gladly provides.


A Bozo offers no security because he holds back financially and emotionally. A Boaz provides joyfully.






--He is a Persistent Pursuer


--Boaz approached Ruth first. He instigated their relationship. When she responded he was persistent in his pursuit. Such honorable pursuit and persistence stand in such contrast to the training that men today receive in relation to being a MWWF. From a young age, men are trained how to hide their feelings, how to win in a fistfight, how to hit a ball, how to shoot a gun, how to birdie on the sixteenth hole, and how to manipulate several remote controls simultaneously. Some men live a whole lifetime and never master the science of How to Handle a Woman. The Apostle Peter had a wife, and he knew from firsthand experience what he wrote about in 1 Peter 3:7 "Husbands, dwell with [your wives] according to knowledge". The word "knowledge" comes from a Greek word meaning "science". A woman is a science to be studied and discovered, but so few men are coached or mentored into loving women as they need to be loved. We see in Ephesians that Paul's great commandment to men is to love them as much as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). Talk about sacrificial love!


A Bozo will love a woman in whatever way he feels is best-in whatever way serves him, not her. A Boaz will love a woman in a way that shows his feelings-and persistence in meeting a woman's needs is one way he does this.






--He is a Prepared Partner


--Boaz was attuned to the heart and needs of the woman in his life. A prepared partner is always willing to attend to another's needs. We've seen that Boaz was responsive to Ruth's vulnerability both emotionally and physically. A Boaz expresses and acts on his compassion for others. A Bozo, on the other hand, focuses on himself. He may briefly pity someone in his life, but he doesn't actually do much to help her.


Boaz was a student of Ruth's heart in that he quickly ascertained her needs, quickly promised to take care of them, and quickly did! He protected her from harm, he soothed her fears, and he completed the legal legwork to marry her--all in a very short time! A lesser man would have taken no notice of this foreigner, wouldn't have thought about her safety, would have refused the hassle of taking on Ruth and her mother-in-law, and would have left the women to fend for themselves.


A Boaz of a guy speaks and acts in ways that heal a wounded woman, treating her like a princess even if she doesn't see herself as one.






--He is a Fighter of Battles


--Boaz was an overcomer. He was never one to shrink away from a challenge or let others do the fighting for him. We see this in the fact that he is wealthy. He had fought business battles to become successful. Second, he was single. In a marriage-oriented culture that considered sons as riches, he could have married any young woman. But he chose to remain single until the right woman came along. He fought the battles of loneliness and cultural pressure.


You and I have a heavenly Father who has set the standard so high through the biblical precedent of Boaz that we don't have to settle for men who can't, by faith, conquer the city of the enemy--whether it is the enemy of sexual temptation, greed or entitlement.


The battles a man wins before marriage are a forecast of the victories he will achieve after marriage.


What a man conquers before he is even married becomes a frame for future victory. Don't settle for a man who is not fighting the good fight of faith. The skirmishes he faces as a single man are only preparing him for the major wars that are ahead. A Bozo runs from conflict and battle. A Boaz faces and conquers it.


Jesus died on the cross to conquer sin and death for the sake of his bride (those who are His followers). Don't settle for a guy who isn't willing to boldly conquer the enemy in order to win the privilege of sharing this journey on this earth with you.




On another note,I'm pretty much fed up with women making excuses for men .They have the audacity to complain about the dude. I mean what you see is what you get. You tolerate his nasty attitude then you are telling him its O.K. You are telling him 'yea go ahead and treat me like trash, I'm ok with it".

" All men are going to cheat"....haaaa! back to sender oh, its not my portion at all. I hear a lot of women making excuses for men: 'its their nature'...'they can't control themselves' and the list goes on.So you didnt know who you were marrying when you were doing love nwantinti all around your father's village during the kola nut and palm wine ceremony se? abeg, love gini?maybe the love really wasn't there. Maybe he was the next best thing since sliced bread and you 'settled' for him just for the sake of your family and his. I refuse to make excuses for any man. He's not a baby and I will not address or treat him as such. I only settle for God's best.

5 minutes in the sack won't do anything for me, it wont make me happy, it won't make me feel loved. It only makes me feel like another number..( or taking a number & waiting in line!), another chick, just another night/day.. And me, I'm not just another chick.
make una clear road oh,I be confammedd babe, waiting for a confammmed guy, a boaz and I'm on my way to becoming a Ruth.


have a wonderful week ahead.

A Valentine's Day filled with regret.

73 % of the people who buy flowers/candy on Valentines day are men.
1 billion people will receive cards today &  

of those 1 billion teachers get the most, followed by children,mothers and wives.

first off: A big THANK YOU, to everyone who comments on my blog. I truly appreciate all the funny,insightful & truthful comments!!For those wondering about Azumi, yes he's a real person. I'm not in a relationship with him. I am being extremely cautious...still trying to figure out who he is. I know its not wise to let imagination and fantasy get the best of you but I thought it would be 'interesting' to write about him.

Its Valentine's day and to me its another Sunday. I'm here in my brothers dorm room watching that show 'cheaters' lmao its like a marathon or something. My brother's gf couldnt make it, and my brother left for PA  this morning for his game on Monday. I didn't get home till 3am this morning, we were with my brothers two goofy friends who kept us entertained throughout the night and morning. They took us to a bar/grille ( I dont drink but I wasnt trying to stay in my brothers dorm all night) called " Thirsty dog" lmao...maka gini?  I kuku got up and left, ah ah the place com fullll with oyinbo grls den like 10-15 black guys here and there, mostly athletes. Then the way everyone was dancing was on completely different level..like they were having convulsions or seizures...

I don't mean to be negative on the day of  love,but I got to thinking about some of the things I regret doing and let happen. I beat myself up about it just simply thinking about it. I don't know if it was because of  my brothers room mates all starting their Valentine's day early, with their 'girlfriends' or lady-friends and closing their doors & leaving the rest of us to our tainted imaginations. It just made me think that I never want to be 'that girl' going to a guy's place and shutting the door and being used  temporarily to feed some guys lust. It took me back to Leksai ( Olu), I mean I would go to his place, knowing in the back of my mind that it was wrong and knowing in the back of my mind that he wouldn't listen to me if I told him not to 'touch me' lest we went further than intended. Although we didn't have sex,  we were close to it.  I felt like a toy and after  the whole "relationship" I felt stupid. This what he told me the last time we talked when he said he had a confession to make: " when I was with her, I was thinking of you"...who says that? How can you have been thinking of me when you are blind with lust and your feeding your flesh? And after his 'confession' he said we were NOT together, but I can clearly remember him saying that we were way before this 'confession'.I don't know I just don't understand the way some guys are. The thing that gets me that most is he acts like nothing happened. He lies a lot and acts like hes not in the wrong. He can never admit to something being wrong whether it was him or his friends or something in general. He loved manipulating my feelings. I can remember one day where he was one the phone with a girl-friend. He said something like "Yea you have a big ass". He was obviously trying to get a reaction out of me, because when I got mad about it ( and I'm not a jealous person at all but for him to say something like that was wrong) he asked me "Why are you mad, was it because of what I said? " instead of initially saying sorry he says " thats the way I talk with my friends, even if they are girls". I said " So would you like it if I said ' oh you have such nice abs/biceps" to a male friend? He said no, or something to that effect.

I hate repeating things on here, but I felt I had to. It was on my mind and I felt I should write it down. Applications for the colleges I'm applying are fast approaching.I've been feeling down way before this  and the stress of school work/applications doesn't help. I don't like feeling like this.

Happy Valentine's Day.

More realizations and I truly need a resolution!

update* Olu and I talk sometimes ( he always has something sexual to say, maybe hes trying to convince me to sleep with him which will never happen, and when he starts his sex talk he gets disconnected) and when we do, he tries to act like our whole 'break up' was my fault when hes the one that was acting some how/strange n stupid, he didnt even believe that my friend passed away when I was explaining to him why I havent called him ( so he says) , hes so selfish, always putting what he wants first, and hes never patient. He says hes not used to being patient for what he wants, I told him sorry that the other girls you've dated never told you 'no' or never expected you to be patient. Mehnnnn i no fit stand a guy wey dey act like small pikin, that gets on my NERVES. Well recently I havent talked to him. I'm just sick of his drama, his wahala is just too mush...and in his head he still thought we were getting back together, he even expected me to come to his place for Thanksgiving, ha family no dey again? Hes crazy to think after all that happened I would hop on a greyhound bus to go see him on Thanksgiving ( of all days) and then tell my mother that im going whia? so that she can roast me shey? I think not.I played along with him n whatnot but I'm done, I'm not into guys like him anymore...I thought he was different--but hes in the same category of guys I run from and will continue to run from!


What is it with some people mehnnn?

They say they are Christians or whatever yet they still feel its ok to have premarital sex ( im not judging, but this what Ive observed i mean we all sin, but this one is serious o), why cant people see a good thing for what it is and appreciate it? Why do people have to defile/corrupt things then complain that it is spoiled? Olu claims that his parents taught him about Christianity, and he says hes a Christian, YET he says before he gets married he has to try some 'stuff' with his wife -to -be,umm how does that work? what the * fill in the blank* is that? (see im trying to kick my swearing habit :) Then he says if I lost my vcard at 16, he would have thought I was a slut YET he lost his at 16 (with an older girl!) I can do better than him, I dont see how his view of sex will benefit him in the future, but as long as I'm not in that picture than I'm more than okay, I'm GOOD.


On a much light note, the semester is nearly over, and I decided to do volunteer work ( for xmas/winter break) in Nigeria and do work for Habitat for Humanity for spring break. I hope everything works its self out ( still need to get a visa, yea kinda late but hey..)

What I'm looking forward to ( no particular order):

1. My family friend's graduation
2. A convention in Dallas
3 Indiana in the summer time
4. Fall '10 in philly/la/or Miami
5. A full head of curly hair
6.Xmas '10
7. Four 'white' weddings to attend (all for relatives too!)
8.Buying a car
9. A Nigeria, that future generations will be proud of
10. Cutting people off and out of my life, you ppl should try it, quite liberating really...especially when those people bring you down instead of lifting you up...



New Year resolution:

Live to my highest potential, be the young woman God has called me to be.


...I was at the bookstore today and I saw a magazine ( people) and it was like a yearbook or something on the years 2000-2009. It really hit me --we are at the end of a decade.

kinda scary...it has me feeling like I did when I was 9 back in 1999 ...

What I've come to realize in oh-9

As 2009 is quickly coming to a close, I've been reflecting on the year and I've learned A LOT ( i didnt list it all though, some of the things ive learned are important n some are no so important :)
Ive learned that:

I'm getting old :) its okay though, with age comes wisdom ..right?! (say yes !)

Just because people get married it doesnt really mean they love each other. Now I dont know about u, but where I live, Nigerian couples seem to all be heading for divorce court oh. Hubby cheats ( and has been doing so for years!) wife kicks him out, wife takes the kids and slaps a divorce on hubby...thats the way it goes usually, and around my way most girls my age say they dont want to marry a naija guy for that reason...smh

Old men are pretty nasty. the 'I.dont.want.you' part is the part they seem hardest to comprehend.
If we ( my sister or friends/cousins) go to a party (naija) this is what we hear lmao: " em excuse me excuse me * annoying tap on shoulder* what is ya name? how can I know jyou( benin accent) or " chei, u are so looking like an angel" and "hey baby, are u talla dan me"? ( my sister got that one) and "hey longy! how are u? I mean I knew old men were nasty but na wa o.


Relationships are hard work. You now have to put that person ahead of you, they become your world, and then suddenly texting/calling seems like a chore!

Dressing provocatively doesnt attract good guys, I mean the ones that actually want to know YOU not your body...


Materialistic things and physical appearance even in all its glory and glitz doesnt last. Ive learned that its not what matters in life, other things are more important and striving for material things and perfect looks its a complete waste of time,theres absolutely nothing wrong with wanting designer clothes n what not or looking good, just gotta keep it perspective....


Nigeria has so much potential, if only the leaders could see that...

I lovee red velvet cupcakes :)


I dont want to be a house wife... ( no man will marry me, lai lai...lol)


Sex is a good thing,at the right time with the right person ( marriage hopefully)


Ogbono soup tastes better when you drink it with water not soda....


Alopecia has opened my eyes a whooolllleeeeeee LOT. I'm a different person because of it, its made me weak but at the same time its made me strong. Its given me low self esteem and its given me high self esteem...but it definately taught me a lot...


I want to be a philanthropist/lawyer/journalist/activist...I believe its possible, its a lot but I can do it ;-)

About Nigeria, Ive learned about its politics, the people, music, its issues and the food. Ive also come to love/hate many things about Nigeria. One thing I hate is the discrepancy between the poor and rich.I hate how governors and political figures or whatever get away with soo much; I dont want to sound as if Ive seen it ,but I mean Ive heard stories and things like that, I mean * insert the thieving benin mans name here, you know the one who messed up Edo state ;-) * at my bros graduation,and Idont think he earned his money honestly....

One thing I love is the people, I love how warm and welcoming many Nigerians are, I love how dramatic we are too, haha never a dull moment!

Its not always greener on the other side, sometimes we all wish we were in a different city or country or our circumstances were different, and sometimes when we experience what we were yearning for, we look at it differently because its not the same. Sometimes looking at the 'big picture' helps us see things in another way...

I dont want to be in a relationship unless the guy is : 1. a christian. 2. doesnt smoke 3. respects his mother/sister. other females and women in general 4. is a gentleman.



I cant change how He has made me, I see one thing and others see another. Its okay to look in the mirror and like what I see, and its okay to look cute! (im such a tomboy mehhn)



I cant be bothered with those who dont bother with me, sometimes I reach out to my cousins distant and immediate( most in naija, or UK), and talking to them but I dont always get the response ( if i get one at all ) I hope for. Maybe they think Im their annoying 'akata' cousin , idk or maybe they dont want to talk....ive tried soteeeyyy... 'bemayhalouyeh' ( wetin i wan come do again?)


I love naija movies, especially anything with mr ibu( dunno his real name) in it -or those two little boys (abi na men?)

I want to wear those coral beads at my traditional wedding ( if i get married) and I dont want any take away plates at the reception... my wedding no go turn to fast food joint ohh-mba!, where somebody ( most likely college kids) go just come clear all d food/drink commot...haha it cannot happen! lol

Traveling really opens up the mind, its so freeing and exciting to be in a new country, so different from your own, and just explore it, eat the native foods and just relax....


Sacrificing beauty for comfort is a no-no, when your feet look like mince meat at the end of the night, na ur wahala b dat


Its easier said than done.


Old people are sexual beings too , no matter how much we try to ignore the fact !! lol


Not all guys are the same


Running into ppl from highschool is embarrassing especially when they ask why im not in florida/california/texas ( i was in one of these states for school previously before i came home)...um because imgoingdoingaschoolyearabroadandineedtotakeonemoreclasstoqualify...hahaha thats my excuse o!


Nigerian parents love to say "my daughtaah/son is in *insert prestigious univeristy here* he/she is studying * insert medicine,law,engineering,business, or accounting*



im ourra here, and i need a vacation jare....

SEXY IS...

I got this from Ekene Agabu from www.sexisr.com:

SEXY IS knowing that there is more to someone than just their body.

SEXY IS lending a helping hand to those in need.

SEXY IS being true to yourself

SEXY IS living life from within; knowing who you are and loving who you are

SEXY IS having SELF CONTROL.

SEXY IS doing right, when right doesn't seem popular.

SEXY IS looking in the mirror and appreciating what you see.

SEXY IS looking attractive but not cheap.

SEXY IS having a positive attitude no matter what.

SEXY IS rising about all restrictions placed on you by others.

SEXY IS knowing that the person you see in the mirror, can change the world.

SEXY IS wanting a woman for a lifetime and not just for the night

SEXY IS wholesome and wholesome IS SEXY.

SEXY IS being so good at what you do, they call you BAD

SEXY IS looking good, feeling good but most of all being good.

SEXY IS how you truly feel about you when no one is watching.

SEXY IS knowing that you do not need to have sex to feel sexy.

I dont know why I blog...

I really dont know why I blog, especially since I have a journal/diary...but I need to write because I love writing err... i mean typing :)

Olu is really starting to get on my NERVES. I dont know what possessed me to start talking to him again. Hes not a bad person at all but my goodness hes just so hannoying!!! After all he did, he now turned around to say it was my fault, can you imagine? I started to realize that we are just not compatable. He feels its ok to have sex with a woman that hes not committed to ( marriage) and I dont ( not really trying to get into the whole premartial sex issue abeg). He just has the craziest justifications as to why its okay to sleep with girls for his own selfish lustful needs( although he didnt say its for selfish-lustful reasons). I refused to give in to his needs. I am not a car, I dont need to be taken for a test drive before the decision on whether I 'drive' well is made. I know Ive made some mistakes in the past and I'm wise enough now not to make the same ones. Olu really isnt helping me keep from making these mistakes I'm trying to avoid. Im tired of talking o, I'm just going to completely stop talking to him. I have better & more exciting things to look foreward to. I'm not cut out for relationships. Maybe I'll stay single, adopt children and travel around the world until I need botox and hip replacements ...

yours truly
td

an Uneventful Sunday

ahhh Sunday, a day to rest and worship....

Today wasnt so special, nothing really happened, just went to church and relaxed mostly. I'm a commuter so my "college life" is basically non existant and my aunt is constantly on our ( my sister,cousin and me) backs whenever we do go out...pretty annoying which makes me want to fill out some college apps sharp sharp n gerrout of here...

I been thinking about the guy I used to go out with ( I dont use 'ex' too often, idk why) because I emailed him asking him to bring my pictures back that I left at his place. I didnt say 'hi' or 'how are you? I wasnt in the mood for all that kind talk, I just want my pics o. So he ( lets call him Olu). So Olu writes back and says " Hey its been along time, I would have called you but my phone doesnt work right now. I missed your 'coolness'. I will send you your pics. ttyl'. I'm sitting there like wtf, whos really trying to conversate here with you, bring me my pics jare! I replied two days later with a simple "Thanks". Our break up was sort of messy.

*Rewind to Week of Sept.14-Oct.1*

During that week ( Sept 14) Idk something came over me, and I was always too busy or too tired to really talk to him but we managed to talk on fb and just txt. I noticed he was acting funny and wouldnt really talk as much as before. He said he had a 'cold'. I'm just like ok o, whatever you say.My friend died around the 13th...and I was sort of out of it and didnt really talk much to him. So the next couple of days we were talking and he goes...you left me for a whole week without calling etc and I've been thinking..he was beating around the bush and before I know it he said he 'had to go' after that whenever we were on the phone he would make an excuse to get off the phone. I was really trying to make it work, you know but at the same time I knew something wasnt right and I knew what he was going to tell me.So a couple days later I called him and told him to say whatever he had to say and stop beating around the bush he says ok " I dont think I can continue in a relationship with someone like you, you have a long way to go".I wasnt surprised. I asked him to just return the things I left at his place and I would do the same I hung up but I was FURIOUS. We texted back and forth and my fingers nearly burned a hole through my phone. He said we could still be friends and I said I never wanted to speak or see him again. I broke down and at this point I was feeling like my whole world was crashing... My aunt told me to take heart and be happy I didnt sleep with him..I was still upset.for about a day or so....then we started talking/txting like 'friends' he called me 'Onose' instead of 'baby' which rubbed me the wrong way and I dont know why....


Fast forward to the end of Sept. I was going for my interview at Nigeria House ( the most stupid human beings work at that place. I swear. God forgive me but they all have their heads in their azz ) and I asked him if I could stay there, I didnt have money for a hotel or whatever and I wasnt staying in Ny at the time. Needless to say it was a BIG MISTAKE O!! ha, see me see trouble ke, the guy was rude and acted like he didnt want me there. Man he was playin GAMES. Like he would be hiding ( shady as hell I tell u) to talk to some girl, like I didnt know. Im not stupid ( we had talked a week or so before about hopefully getting back together so I was clueless as to why he was talking to someone else) and after he was done with his little convo he would step to me like everything was all good. stupid mumu. I ignored him and kept doing whatever....later that night at his place he was critisizing everything I wore....from my shorts ( that I wanted to sleep in) to my shoes ( for the naija indy. party...was anyone @Blvd? d club was dull ) which he said looked like hooker shoes...at that time I was PISSED.  I decided to leave him alone and browse the net.

Next day I went to the interview.
yeye man: How are we suppose to know dat yua parents are Nigerians ehn?
Whia is yua parental consent?

Me: I'm over 16, and my birth cert. states where my parents were born

ym: It doesnt matter, and you were even suppose to pay $ 112 dollas not $ 75, now go across d street and get yua refund

me: But it didnt specify that on the website


*This is when he gets hannoyed ( lol)*
ym:Look this is what I'm tellin you! forgret about what dey said on the website. This is what I'm telling you.( ha!!! see me see wahala wetin i do this man nau?)
Anyway have a nice day, tank jyou ( maybe he was benin or yoruba idk for him )for coming today.



I bounced ourra that place mehnnn.... didnt get my refund and basically wasted my time.

Back to Olu. I got back to his place and he said he was going to the gym. I bacially stayed on his computer all day and napped. Later at night I started typing my paper that was due the next day and he was complaining about that too ( ughh!) I finally finished and before that I told him we needed to talk. He was already asleep and when I got to bed he says " So what do you need to talk about"? I said nevermind he shrugged and turned over , went to sleep. I then started talking about how hes been making me feel bad , like he didnt want me there. He denied everything. And I turned over and stopped talking. He turned over and told me to come close to him, his face was getting closer to mine. We kissed and fooled around and he even asked me " you wanna have sex"? I said no and he said we should stop what we were doing. We went to bed , but that question was quite strange . since he said we were friends and knows I was going to say no.

The day of the Indy parade:

I woke up to his voice, but he was on the phone ( yea at 8am) obviously it was with a girl and its like he made sure I was around to hear him, this stupid boy really wanted to hurt me...So i ignored him and went about my business and took my shower etc. When i went to brush my teeth he started hiding in the kitchen talking to this girl, I pretended like I didnt see him and kept it moving. We got dressed and picked up his friends ( 2 of them) and took the train to the parade. He was using all kinds of dumb slangs and swears to make himself sound cool in front of his friends....he looked like a fool because they werent even paying him attention. On the train he was doin the same shit. He was hiding to talk to this girl and basically IGNORED me. I packed my shit and moved to another seat he later comes and asks me if I was ok. I told him I was on the phone and . As soon as the train stopped,I hopped off and went my own way...I wanted to just give him one to the jaw.......After that episode, now I knw his true colors...and I'm glad that I didnt sleep with him ( maybe thats what got him fustrated) what do u think?

to be continued ( ive written too much sef)

have a wonderful sunday!

♥ TD